Winter report
by CorporatePuppet
Summary: okay, this is a Lemon. A Mello x Near Lemon. It contains Yaoi. it's in Mello's POV, so expect bad language and a lot of emotional feels and junk... Note: I have to edit this a bit more, so just letting you's know this before you read -
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: okay- this was just something for me to do as a break from my other stories. And again- this is my first full out yaoi so be kind...**

* * *

_-Why did I have to do that? Why did I have to go and do such a stupid thing? Damn I'm such an idiot. I should have known better. He should have known better.-_

* * *

**Chapter One**

It was already December and Christmas was just around the corner. The whole orphanage was decorated with festive ornaments as fresh snow coated the courtyard. I saw Matt from the window of the library; throwing snow balls at that bimbo of a girl, Linda.

_Damn...that sure looks like fun._

''Mello? - are you listening?''

My train of thought was suddenly distracted; my focus was drawn back...back to Near. Roger had forced us to work on a stupid biology report, just us. No one else. Alone in the library whilst everyone was happily frolicking in the sense of Christmas.

I hate it. I hated him. My Christmas holiday was being stolen from me.

''what does it matter if I **did** or **didn't** hear you'' I growled as I hung my arm over the back of my chair ''you'd probably get a better mark than me anyway...might as well do the stupid thing yourself!''

Even though I admit we are working untastefully together and probably we'd get the same conjoint mark...I still believe that he'd somehow earn extra credit, no scratch that. I'm positive that he will.

''Mello I was just asking a simple question there was no need to bark at me like that'' Near remarked, curling a strand. I frowned snatching the book that we were studying off. Scanning over the pages loathingly.

_I can talk to him any way I like!- who does he think he is?, _I thought peeking my eyes over the book_. PHFF Why the hell did he even agree to do this stupid project with me huh?- He god damn well known's that I hate him and that will never change ...grrr_

''did you find anything useful?'' the white haired boy quietly asked blandly staring at a piece of paper that had some notes jotted down.

I grumbled lightly at Near's coyness. I threw the book down with a loud smack and stared at him with a deep frown plastered on my face. Oh how I so just wanted to punch the living daylights out of him but...that's not how L would have done it. I need to keep my emotions under lock, that's the key to ever succeed.

''no'' I grumbled through my teeth, biting at my bottom lip a little, resisting to blurt out any of my colourful words at him; and that became tricky.

Near lifted his head slightly, I could see his eyes barely beneath his thick bangs, sheepishly staring back. I cringed softly to myself, seeing his dull and colourless eye peeking up at me; it made me feel sick in the stomach. But the real gut curling thing was that I was the only one who'd ever meet his gaze, I'm sure Near has never look at L or Roger before or even move a little to the tone of there voice, only me. Quite sickening really.

Near opened his mouth to say something but quickly withdrew his words, looking dismally down, tediously picking at a lock of his hair like a freak.

''wha?- what is it. You where about to say something '' I noticed pulling a knuckle up under my cheek, resting my elbow on the table. Might as well listen to him since there was nothing else better to do.

''I was just thinking that perhaps we should find a sample''

''what? - find a sample of frickn' mistletoe.''

''yes''

''can't we just grab some of that fake stuff hanging freely over there'' I grumbled lazily pointing over to the door where a bunch of cheap plastic mistletoe was hanging. Near smirked lightly, but still keeping his distant but placid disposition.

''no. It'll be more logical if we supply a real sample for the biology report''

''*phft* whatever''

Really and sincerely I just wanted to ditch this right here and now and go outside in the snow and throw snow balls around with Matt and hopefully make Linda cry like any normal teen would do, but the problem here is Near.

The one thing that annoys me above everything else he does is that once he's assigned something and if he takes an interest in it, he'll stick to it like super glue; and this report was one of them.

''well, pardon me but where the hell are we going to find mistletoe that isn't made of synthetic fibres?''

'' I do recall that there is a small potted tree in the science lab that started to showed signs of mistletoe growth''

'' man, you have an answer for **everything** don't you'' I sarcastically groaned.

''I try to''


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

The two teens quickly found themselves tip toeing into the science lab. It was surprisingly unlocked and no one was present in there. Guess even the science teacher got the day off. Lucky bitch.

''there it is'' Near tottered to the teacher's desk. On the corner was the plant.

''hurry up'' I called from the door, pulling out a bar to munch on whilst Near took a cluster. I found it incredible odd that it wasn't locked; any sane person would have locked a science room, remember Beyond. So me being a little more paranoid than Near was kinda show.

''what's taking so long?''

I briskly made my way over to Near, the twit was still trying to tie the mistletoe together. I watched as he thumbled helplessly with it. The kid couldn't even tie a simple knot, let alone figure out how to tie his own shoes; wait does he even wear shoes?

''*tis* you're so hopeless!'' I hissed impatiently, snatching the reef from him. It's a known fact that he is tragically hopeless at the simplest tasks; it annoys me that he has to be babied by everyone, even Roger. For crying out loud how old is this kid, really!

''Mello, your tying it too tight'' Near's small voice chide ''the reef might die''

''shut up. I know what I'm doing'' I barked continuing with the knot. I knew what I was doing, the stupid plant won't die.

''There, done.''

I threw it back at him. It wasn't too tight or too loose, nothing to worry about. Near scanned over the thing, like he was searching for any slightest imperfection. I rolled my eyes in irony.

''come on- before a teacher comes'' I said, looking around as anxiety started to rise in me.

''Mello...'' I hear him coo my name sweetly.

I looked back at him a little frustrated. ''wha-''

And when I did, I was met with an owlish stare. His eyes seeming to borrow into me from under his bangs. I couldn't pull my eyes away from his; what's wrong with me? It was like I was a stone statue, being forced to stay in that position for the rest of time.

I became all chocked up; I couldn't manage to say a word. A hot irritated feeling began to carve at the back of my throat. The air had mysteriously become thin; it was hard to breath.

Why, why does he make me feel like this? Always him, no one else could make me feel so agitated, no one could bring a fluster to my face as fast as he could...why?

At this point I couldn't think straight and what happened next...was...

''Mello?- what does it mean to hold it like this?''

Near innocently rose his hand up, holding the reef as far as he could over our heads; peering deep into my face, till we were just inches away.

He knew damn well what it meant and what he was evoking with it...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

Before another word could spill from his mouth. I violently snatched his white collar and collided our lips together. There was no struggle from him, well...at least I didn't notice any struggle.

I freely ran my fingers through his curls; His lips were so warm and soft, like silk. I felt him press further into my face, taking me deeper into his mouth. Opening wider for my tongue to explore the crevices of his warm tight mouth. I tenderly sucked; earning whimpers and quivers from him.

_I was doing this. I was getting an emotional reaction from him. The boy who is said to feel nothing._

I didn't notice that Near had dropped the mistletoe, hell did I care. It's just a stupid reef anyway. Near's hands clasped onto my neck, he tightly clung to me as if he didn't want to miss a thing. I smirked into the kiss. _Guess he really is human..._

I propped him up on the desk, kissing him with heat and passion. Muffled moans came from behind our kisses. I found my hand slipping lower, lower enough to reach under his cleanly pressed white shirt, feeling the child's muscles tense. His skin so smooth, so inviting. Near arched his back at the feeling of my icy cold finger tip touching his pristine skin. No one has ever touched him before and definitely no one has ever touched him like **this**.

But then again I have never touched anyone and certainly not to such extent, to feel such a pleasure from just this, from him.

My curious hands climbed up his torso to the small pert nubs of flesh. I took one of his nipples and squeezed it tightly, rubbing the ball between my index finger and thumb. Near didn't hold back this time. Flinging his head back slightly and letting out and content moan as I felt him. I quickly licked up his lips, taking him back into my mouth. He squirmed and bit a little but it all just seemed like an even bigger turn on.

My pants were tight and face was red. I was feeling a little dizzy and it turned me on too much I couldn't stop. I looked at him, breaking our locked lips, He was evenly as hot and fluster as I was. I pinched and rubbed hard at the small ball of skin. He yelped and moaned and squirmed about. I lowered my mouth to his neck, nipping bites at his ivory skin, leaving bruises as I kissed feverously.

_What am I doing! What the hell am I doing? I can't do this! its wrong...it is wrong._

''M-Mello'' he rasped. ''ahr...''

His fingers twirled in my golden strands. This pent up passion was becoming unbearable. Simply this childish foreplay wasn't going anywhere. I was really hard now, that the small pitched tent had mysteriously turned into a long caravan. Even Near was experiencing a large heat in his pants too.

My body was tense and hot. A small kiss was all it need to set this off. I pulled my hand down along his body, stopping at his slender hips. I mischievously rubbed my palm over his bulge. He gasped, quickly pulling one of his hands down from around my neck and grabbed at my hand, stopping my motion. Our lips pulled away immediately, I glanced at him and he glanced at me. Sheepishly.

His hand tightened around mine and I smirked at him. He gingerly leaned forward, hesitating slightly. He shyly took a kiss from me. Sweetly moving his lips around and...That was it.

I couldn't handle it no more. This was it. no room to think, just go.

I pulled apart from him, earning an askewed look from the child. I gripped his hand, hastily pulling him off the desk. Before he could say a thing; I began to drag him out of the room and into the hall.

''Mel...Mello where are we going?'' he quietly muttered, trying to keep up with me as I pulled him. I remained silent.

Till we got to a door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four**

Near's eyes widened at the sight of the door. It was his door. His bedroom door.

I'd figure that Near's bedroom would be the safest place. It was isolated from the rest of the other dorms. The walls were thick and the neighbouring doors were about 10 meters apart. No one would be in their dorms; they'd be too busy frolicking in the new slate of snow. So I had no need to worry.

I looked back over my shoulder at Near. He was placidly holding my hand, he looked fluster and scruffy but said nothing, he knew what this meant. He knew what I wanted and there was absolutely no objection. I gave a smile as I twisted the door knob. Pulling him in.

I didn't waste any time immediately throwing him to the bed. Climbing on top of him, I lifted my shirt off, discarding it on the floor. He just watched me enticingly and said nothing. Even when I was unbuttoning his shirt he remained silent.

I took to his lips as I fiddled with my pants. Near rested his hands on my bare chest patiently waiting till I was in nothing but my black silk boxers. It didn't take long for us to be completely naked, embracing each other. Near laid down on his back as I mounted myself between his legs, lifting his hips into position.

''are you ready?'' I asked

Near gazed up at me with those grey colourless eyes of his and nodded slowly. Immediately I closed the small gap between us. Firmly pushing my hard cock into his tight entence. I rolled my hips around in him which earned a quiet moan. I laid motionless just for him to get used to the obscurely hard object that was in him. I felt him arch his back into the sheet but refusing to show any signs of pain which he was obviously injuring. I cast a look at him, _perhaps we shouldn't. This may be too much for him. It's too soon._

''Do it'' I heard him quiver from under his breath which just made me want to melt.

This was all new, for the both of us and with anything and everything new, curiosity isn't far off.

Not wanting to seem weak I began to pump myself in and out, starting slowly then gradually escalating to fast. Near's eye lid flung shut as sweat began to show on my forehead.

''arhh Mello!''

''God ahrr!''

It was alright to get loud; no one was around so we could scream and moan all we wanted. The bed creaked and squeaked with every thrust and twist.

_It was so good. It felt so good._

He feebly bucked up against me, moaning loudly. I dug my knees deep into the mattress. I wanted to be as far as I could inside him. My skin rubbing against his. My hips digging into him, his moans. My pumps were fast and hard, it hurt. But hell it was worth it.

''Mello!'' he shouted and I shouted his name back. My name, just a moan.

I rubbed against him and he returned the favour. Our bodies were wet with sweat and breath shallow and ragged. I thrusted deeper inside, hitting the spot where it made him sing. And every time I hit that note he'd look up at me and I would just look back at him with lustful eyes. There was no denying that he didn't like it, because he did.

I propped his leg over my shoulders, nailing deep. Near spred his legs wider, as I rolled my hips- wanting to be as deep as I could be in him. The pain eventually numbed as I forced hard into him.

"Oh fuck! Oh god Near! Ahh…"

I couldn't hold it in anymore, I just couldn't control myself no more. My body just lost it. I immediately erupted, arching my back as I came inside him; beads of sweat ran down the back of my neck. The pumps and panting slowed.

And throughout it all we never parted our gaze from each. He calmly played with my hair as I slowly pulled myself out of him; his leg limply fell to the mattress. Panting lightly, I crawled to meet his lips. I kissed him softly and tenderly till both our lips were sore with bruises. I trailed my kiss to his neck, lapping at the milky skin. Near held me tight, gently stroking my head, like a cat. I then dragged my tongue down his body to reside around his torso. He shuttered instantly, I glanced up at him. I admit seeing that pink face staring sheepishly back at me did look cute.

_How did I allow myself to do this? - Why did you even allow me to do this to you?_

I took him into my hands and fondled lightly, rubbing gently and rolling his sac in the middled of my palm. He gasped at the feeling, squinting from under his bangs. I continued to nip sweet kisses to his torso. Near groaned loudly. Teasing him like this was fun. Seeing him struggle and groan made me smile. When I decided that the boy had enough of me toying with him I lowered my lips. Dragging my tongue along his harden length. Dipping my tongue around it. He groaned again. But louder. It was as if he was saying 'stop playing and do it already!'

I then rolled my tongue over his erected head, Near immediately bucked into my mouth, but I held his hips down; pinning them to the bed. He pulled at my hair, lightly pushing my head down. I grinned and took him fully into my mouth, bobbing my head up and down. After moments of torture, I released his hips, letting him thrust into my mouth. I moaned, sending wonderful vibrations down his slippery appendage and instantly my mouth was filled. Near arched his back into the covers entangling his fingers in my hair. I swallowed sharply and not wanting to waste a drop I pulled myself up.

I took one hand and pinched the end of his head. Rolling it between my fingers; I wrapped my mouth around it, sucking powerfully. Lapping my tongue over his split till all was gone. Near clamped his eyes shut, bitting his bottom lip; fighting back a moan.

When I was done and wiped the last of his cum from the corners of my mouth I then quickly rubbed my cheek on his inner thigh, my hot breath against his pearly skin made Near quiver feverously. Kissing and tonguing my way back up. Dipping my tongue into his navel momentarily before continuing on my journey up.

He looked as red as a tomato, I smirked placing my lips over his before letting his small tongue slip into my mouth, having his tongue stroking the back of my tough felt so pleasurable. Well, everything we had just done felt pleasurable.

We pulled apart panting. I rolled over next to him. Embracing in the afterglow.

He snuggled close to me, with one hand placed on my chest feeling my heart beating rapidly still. Near leaned close to me taking my warmth. I stared up at the tiled ceiling, relaxing into the covers.

''ya know Near... after today we won't be able to look at each other like we use to''

''that's okay. I think I can manage that'' I felt him smile against my skin, as he nuzzled closer to me.

Lying there naked beneath the sheets with him didn't bother me at all. It was like all the hatred I felt had vanished. Disappeared. I don't know why or how, but it was gone. I laid there with him and for once I actually felt whole for the first time in my miserable life. It was if a piece of me had been returned.

''Mello'' he tiredly cooed.

''yeah'' I answered nuzzling my head lovingly against his.

''L's going to be happy that we finally managed to work together''

''Near-'' I pulled away ''L can't know. No one can know''

'' wha-what'' Near looked at me confused.

''when tomorrow comes, this. What we did. It didn't exist''

Because, really. If people found out, it would just be trouble...and L. I can't jeopardise my chances in become L, when it really come down to it Near is just an obstacle in my way, nothing more and nothing less. I can never call him a lover or anything close to that; he only registers as enemy... a worthless fling.

_Sigh..._

But how can I bring myself to such a conclusion when I know it's not the right one. I'm lying to myself.

Near's eyes turned cold and lifeless. A weird feeling washed over me, was it guilt? Was I guilty for what I felt for him? for what I'd done.

''I understand'' he said in his monotone voice of his, lying his head down on my chest. Wrapping an arm tightly around me. I held him too. If only this moment could last forever .haha- sure as anything I wished it could.

_But every good thing comes to an end._

**A/N: apologies for being so crude in this, I don't normally write like this...-remember this is my first lemon so sorry if it stink =-= a thousand apologies! Please forgive. Please forgive!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

A week had past. A week that felt like forever.

It was like nothing had happened. I had to continue to yell and spit hateful words at him and he continued to ignore me. It fooled everyone. Well...everyone except us. I found myself looking at Near more then I normally did and a few time I caught him looking at me. It tore me up. It was like I was a mute.

Matt occasionally asked me what was wrong because I was becoming depressed and unhappy looking. I just shook my head and said ''nah, I'm ok'' but honestly I wasn't.

Secretly I longed from him, I longed to feel his touch. I longed to be with him. I hated seeing myself in the mirror every day; I just didn't want to look at myself anymore. I was in such a mess.

I found myself dashing off to have a little one on one time with myself, rubbing desperately to feel the slightest form of contact that remotely reminded me of him. But it didn't feel the same. It didn't feel as right. It just felt disgusting and pitiful.

I was so unhappy. And it began to show. It felt like the sky was caving in on me. Why did it hurt so much? - did I actually have feelings for him. Was I actually in love with him? Does he love me?

These questions were crammed into my head. And the more they built the more I saw Near quietly drifting away. It got to the point where he stopped looking up at me and concentrated on his toys. Was I being replaced by toys?... maybe this was his way of dealing with it. Or...just blocking me out.

I felt so, so lost.

Till that night.

There was a quiet knock at my door. Matt was playing one of his pointless video games again and had a pair of skull candy earphones on so he couldn't hear a thing, I could have thrown a bag of baby snapping turtles at him and he wouldn't even notice. I rose from my bed, looking half dead. I didn't feel like lunging to the door...but I did.

''what the hell do you wan-!''

I froze. Was I dreaming or was this for real? - Near. Near was standing right outside my door. I blinked a couple of times to make sure that my imagination wasn't playing any cruel tricks on me. My heart felt like it was about to leap out of my chest.

''Near what are you doing—''

''can I have a word with you?'' he meekly said curling a strand cutting me off in my sentence. I casted a thought back to Matt, he was quietly gamming, repeatedly pushed the square button and scoffed a handful of Doritos in his mouth at the same time. I pondered for a second on why I was even friends with him in the first place... but quickly turned my attention back to Near.

I stepped out into the black corridor, closing the door quietly behind me, wasn't sure what he wanted to talk to me about but I was just happy that he was speaking to me again.

''so...what did you want to talk about-!''

And like a flash, I felt a warmth cover my lips. He had grabbed the collar of my shirt and kissed me. I missed him so much and this was just heaven to me. He poked his tongue into my mouth, working tenderly around the sensitive areas of my gums. I began to feel hot and bothered, as a tent formation slowly made its appearance. We pulled away just to take a quick breath but clashing our lips together before we could actually fill our lungs.

I found myself pressing his body hard against the cold brick wall, grinding feverously against him. He hooked his arms around my neck as I lifted him up against the brick. Our tongues danced a fiery tango as our body's made putty with the wall.

''...Mello '' he rasped quietly in my ear.

''Near'' I replied taking him back to my mouth. Kissing passionately. Near stroked a hand on my cheek as we madly kissed. There was a tingle that surged through my body rapidly; it's been a while since I felt like that. I felt myself becoming hard as my movements became more intense against him. Light pant's and moans came from him feebly trying not to get loud. It was torture on his part. One hand on his thin thigh, squeezing tightly.

But even as much as I liked it I had to focus myself. Be in control. I eased of him unwantingly. Stopping everything

My hips slowed to a stop. I released him from the wall and he looked at me dismally and a little huffy.

''Near...we...we can't'' I whispered earning another cold look from him.

''then what do you call **that** we were doing just a second ago?'' he said huffing

I smiled at him detecting the sarcastic gesture in his sentence. I turned away, it would be better if we just left it there. No more words or anything. But before I could open the door...

''Mello!'' Near called grabbing at my wrist then sliding his hand into mine. He held onto it tightly and it looked like he wasn't going to let go.

_I know. I wanted to be with you as well but...Sigh*... I'd give the moon and the sun to spend another moment with you. but..._

'' Mello. Please'' It really hurt hearing him beg.

''NEAR GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM- I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE!'' I viscously pulled my hand out of his. Near froze. I quickly pulled open the door; Matt had turned around with wide eyes hearing the commotion that I was roaring.

''JUST GO TO YOUR ROOM!'' I yelled looking deep at his face. I could tell that he was feeling confused even thought he didn't show it. I felt it.

''OKAY!'' I yelled in final.

He studied my face, I was really bad at this and then I just could kid myself no more. A smile crept across my face and then Near finally realise it all at once. I was pretending. He softly gave a smile back to me. But I had to keep pretending.

I slammed the door shut.

''yo Mel, what was dat t'all bout?'' Matt asked

''that stupid albino wanted me to find his stupid optical prime or whatever that fucking thing is called'' I grunted '' can you believe it!- the nerve!''

''hmmm- I dono man but there's somethn' not quite right ere' '' Matt shrugged looking at me suspiciously. Oh no- please don't tell me he saw the marks on his neck or the bludge in my pants, *gasp* or worse! Heard us -He'll ruin me. all of a sudden I felt sick in the stomach.

''arh wait! - I got it-Near got a hair cut ay'' he grinned boyishly.

**PFEW**! Thank the mother fucker in heaven for giving me such an absent minded friend. I looked at him, knowing that there was nothing to worry about; I really don't know why I was fretting over someone so harmless as Ma-!

''yo, man did ya notice what Near was caring in his pants- I mean whoa...someone's sure excited'' Matt snickered continuing with his game and the scoffing of Doritos.

A part of me just died...

''well, I guess kids don't stay kids forever huh'' Matt bellowed

''Matt ya such a perv!'' I growled throwing a pillow in his face. trying to hide my blush from him.

'' sticks and stones bro'' he sang pulled his earphones over his ears, disappearing back into his enigma statue.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six**

It had just clicked after midnight.

I quietly crept out of my dorm, carefully making sure that I didn't wake Matt up. Okay on a personal note here; Matt sleeps like a log, again not even a bag of baby snapping turtles could wake him. But still I was cautious.

It was dark but I had a good sense in where I was going. I couldn't help myself in grinning a tad. He hadn't forgotten me, I hadn't been replaced with stupid Lego or blocks...teh, he was just a really good actor.

It didn't take me long to be faced with a door. And as I suspected, it wasn't locked. I meekly poked my head past the door frame. Sighing at the sight of Near sleeping peacefully. It eased me seeing him like that.

I walked quietly into the room. Making sure that I didn't wake him. I watched endearingly over him. He looked so peaceful and so charming.

But I quickly took my focus back to what I came here to specifically do. I pulled my shirt off and then my pants, then boxers; carelessly leaving them in a pile. I shuttered feeling a breeze brush against my bare skin. I quickly and carefully slipped beneath the warm covers, wrapping my arms around his stomach, nuzzling my face against his shoulder.

''Mello?'' Near sleepily yawned, tiredly sitting straight up.

''shh...'' I hushed, nibbling at his ear lobe, fiddling to unbutton his shirt.

''I thought you were never coming''

I grinned lightly against his lobe and continued to undress him, pulling down at the waistband of his silk white boxers. He quivered at the feeling of the cold. I kissed his neck feverously, pressing my naked body close to his. He leaned into me, taking my warmth. I ran my hands up and down his slender figure. Starting from his shoulders and stopping at his naval. He arched into me a little more when my hand slipped low. Fondling him and caressing my hand up and down his length. Till I felt him become hard in my hands. I tenderly kissed his neck, rubbing myself against his back.

What I was doing was foreplay. Fondling and playing with him like this was like playing with a child- everything had to be simple.

''M...Mello'' he quivered

'' yes...Near'' I replied in almost the same tone.

''stop it...''

I paused surprisingly, stopping what my hands were doing.

''stop toying with me...I'm not a child I don't need to be played with'' he growled lightly, almost panting as he talked.

This had caught me off gaud. Nevertheless came to as a complete shock.

'' I know... '' I hushed in a whisper to myself as I slid my hands up to his hips.

He was right. He didn't need to be treated like a child. He was capable to know what he wanted. And do whatever he pleased. Without help.

''get down'' I sensually rasped into his ear. Near gasped silently at the sound of my voice ringing wetly in his ear; he obeyed my demand, getting down on his hands and knees.

I stuck two of my fingers into my mouth. Near shot a looked behind himself watching as I suck them, unaware of what I was up to. I pulled them out of my mouth and pressed them against his skin. I then ran one finger from the side of his waist all the way to his entence. Feeling the tight ring around it. I didn't say anything as I slowly slide my finger into him. Near bit his bottom lip to keep him from crying out in a moan. I moved my finger around, pressing the pad of it against his wall. Near's mouth water as I crept further and deeper inside him.

I was searching for his spot. Were it made him moan and howl like anything. It didn't take me long to find it. Near gasped loudly when I pressed. Smirking, I then slide the other wet finger into him pushing up against it, attempting to hit his spot over and over again as I listened for the lustful throaty moans that came from him. He leaned into my hand for more. I stretched my finger apart just to please him and began to stroking him from the inside.

The tip of my dick was real hard and when I decided that he'd had enough, I withdrew my fingers out. I heard a groan come from him at the loss of feeling full.

_Wrong or right...what does it matter now? I've already got this far...why not go further._

I moved to positioned myself in front of Near. My harden penis just inches away from his full supple lips.

''suck'' I firmly said like it was a normal thing to say. He gazed obliviously up at me through his bangs.

''do you want it to hurt like last time?'' I asked, he shot his gaze back down and looked at it.

''then suck!'' I toned in a little more aggressive voice, when I received no answer. He said himself he didn't want to be treated like a child no more and I was just doing what he wanted.

Near's bottom jaw flopped open and I shoved it in. He sloppily sucked on me, using his saliva as lubrication wouldn't make it hurt as much. I began to thrust into his warm and wet mouth feeling his tongue twirling around me skilfully. I ran my hands through his messy mop of hair, grunting as he throated me, bobbing his head back and forth.

_His mouth was so good to me,_ I thought as a moan of pleasure escaped my lips.

And after a moment of sucking and lapping. I pulled my painfully large appendage from out of his wet hot mouth.

I returned to my original position behind him. I rubbed my hand up his spine, asking for entrance. Near just shook his hair and that was it. I didn't know what that was, yes? no? Perhaps? So I took it as a considerably 'yep'

I grabbed onto Nears waist and rolled my hips, slowly making my way inside him. He let out a slight hiss as he arched his back in response to feeling my erected head pushing through. I managed to work myself all the way in. I began to automatically thrust deeply into him. Near let out a strained moan as I continued to rub against.

''Near ahhh''

''h...harder...'' he rasped through a cracking voice

I complied with his wish and pumped harder. Thrusting back and forth as hard and as fast I could. My lips were wet and my body was damp.

''Near!'' I lustfully moaned with every powerful pump.

''Ha...harder HARDER!'' he continued to yell, like this wasn't hard enough. I stabbed myself into him, I was sure that if I pumped any harder I was surly going to tear something but he was persistent. Loud moans flew through the air and sweat poured from everywhere. Hearing him scream out 'harder harder' was so kinky and sexy that I swear I was about to come right then and there.

''AH FUCK!''

I flung my head back feeling myself become numb. Intense waves of pleasure washed through me.

''ARHHHHHHH!'' Near screamed clutching the bed sheets tight.

I hit his spot rapidly with powerful strength and speed. We both screamed at each other. And with one more powerful hit he came, I followed soon after. The white liquid ran down Near's inner thigh. He panted as he collapsed down into the mattress bring me with him. I pulled myself out slowly, flipping onto my back, heart racing and body hot. I looked over at Near who was gazing back at me. Dizzily.

''s...so how was it?'' I puffed asking.

''a...amazing'' Near replied taking sharp breaths in and out. I laughed half heartedly.

Near found the needed energy to slide himself up on me, mounting himself around my waist. I embraced him in my arms as he kissed me with longing passion. I turned my head slightly and opened my mouth so his tongue could explore better. His lips were so alluring and so inviting I didn't know why I hadn't gone for him sooner.

This week had been hell for me. How I miss how smooth and gentle you were. Everything about you was gentle. I entwined my fingers in his shimmering curls. Our tongues danced a slow waltz. We parted; taking our lips away. And withdrawing our tongues. I gazed deeply at him with a smile.

_Was this love?_

He placed a hand on my cheek and the other on my chest. Nuzzling lovingly into the crook of my neck.

'' I wish we could stay like this forever'' he sighed closing his eyes and falling into a deep slumber.

I tightened my grip around his waist, whispering '' me too''

**A/N: - i feel so SOOO dirty right now...ew.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter seven**

We snuck around like this for weeks undetected. It was our little secret. His and mine. I was 2 completely different people. In the day I was the Mello everyone saw and expected but by night I was nobody but his. I guess I had become obsessed with him. But who could tell me that this was wrong or tell me that we weren't allowed ...okay besides myself. No one had the right!

I thought that it would last forever. Well that was what I thought...

The day. The day he died. That day L died.

That was the day my world shattered. Nothing was safe anymore. No place was safe.

I growled in my room, trashing stuff around and cursing my head off.

''why the fuck did you have to die L, now I have to leave Near!''

I really didn't want to go. I wanted to stay with Near. But I knew if I didn't, it would be easy for Kira to target us and I couldn't let that fucker do that. So leaving was the best logical answer but...Fuck! I didn't want to leave him. I didn't want to abandon him like our parents did. I threw an empty bag down and started to throw clothes in, not bothering to pack properly. This wasn't the time to be packing properly. I was so angry, to the point I started to throw shoes around the room not caring what I hit.

''WHY DOESN'T ANYTHING EVER WORK FOR ME GOD DAMN IT!''

I was enraged and mad.

I riffled through a drawer, throwing some shirts and jeans into my bag; I lifted the last pair of jeans up and spotted something. Something I'd had kept at the bottom of my drawer, away from everyone.

The mistletoe that started everything. It was withered and its leaves were dead; the ribbon we used for a knot was faded but I still kept it as a sweet reminder. Even though it was withered and dead it was my most treasured possession I had.

There was an almost wind-like knock at my door. It was quiet and soft, but I knew straight away on who it was. I didn't know if I could face him. Could I actually look him in the eye and utter those words?

''Doors open'' I called shoving the withered reef into my pocket, carefully making sure not to break it.

The door creaked open. Near was quiet and content shifting slowly into the room. I continued to squash some clothing into my bag as I felt my heart break with every silent step he took, til' I heard his sweet velvety voice.

"You're leaving" he stated shakily.

''yeah...''

'' you can still stay - you don't **have** to leave''

I turned and looked at him with sadden eyes '' Near...I...I...I—''

''you don't have to leave me.''

Now that cut. That cut me real deep. I was leaving him. I couldn't help it and there was nothing I could do. I needed to do this to protect him. If anything ever happen to him I wouldn't be able to ever forgive myself.

''Near ...I'm not leaving you'' I calmly spoke holding my feeling in. '' I'm just leaving this place''

''and in turn leaving me''

_I couldn't fight him. I just couldn't._

Sighing, I walked up to him. He continued to look at me with his grey eyes. Secretly burning a hole in my face. I took him into my arms but he hesitated. I leaned down to give him one final kiss before I went but he turned his head away rejecting me. He was unhappy and upset. I looked at him with a heavy heart; I placed a light kiss to his cheek. Near squinted at the feeling of my lips on his skin; growling silently. Pulled my lips and hands way.

I tug at the bag strap and made my way out the door. Not looking back.

And that was it. I was gone. Never to hear from again.

***** D,:**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter eight**

**-Many years later-**

It had almost been over 5 years since I last saw him. 5 years is such a long time to be away.

There wasn't a time where I wished I could just go back to Wammys and hold him in my arms again. But sadly I couldn't. I wasn't allowed to. Kira had taken that all away from me...and I was ready to get him back for it. But during the time I was out in the real world, I did get myself into associating with the Mafia. Even there I had to keep pretending. The first time I shot a guy really tested me.

_How much did I want to be with Near? At what costs?_

Fuck. If ending a few lives here and manipulating some people there was all I need to do. Then hell, I didn't care what I had to do. As long as I got closer to Kira- then I'd be able to love Near once more.

But my Mafia relations did teach me that for something to go your way you need to make it happen and taking a risk or two would really set the mood- well I took a risk and it cost me my skin. Literally. But that didn't stop me from taking another.

I found out that the SPK was in Japan and that meant Near was here too. He had also taken up the hunt for Kira as well. I don't think he realised what kind of danger he put himself in, Kira was vile and sly and I feared for Near's safety. In my mind I still remembered him as that hopeless child that couldn't even tie a knot properly. And **he** was going after Kira.

I also found out what the murder weapon Kira used to kill was. A simple black diary. Death note. I found this out ages ago, but lost it in that explosion. That was one risk that I really didn't think though. I now have a scar that reaches down the right side of my body. I was afraid Near wouldn't even recognise me or he'd feel different about me because of it.

I got information in the people that worked with Near. Gevanni, Restar and Lidner aka Hal were his personal body guards. I went for the weakest looking one. Hal was a great source of information even after that little kidnap scenario. She was my ticket in seeing Near again.

When I saw him. I almost felt like running over and just wrap my arms around him, never wanting to let go...well that's how it looked in my mind. But hat would just be weird.

I had 2 of his lackeys around me, guns drawn. He sat on the ground playing with some tarot card. He didn't even look up at me, not even acknowledging my exsistance. Was he still mad at me? He just spoke in that tired monotone voice that seemed to drag my mood down.

This encountered wasn't going well. I couldn't let myself slip. I pulled out my gun from my leather and pointed it at him, threatening to shoot. I wouldn't really shoot him, this was all for show. It looks like I'm still pretending.

Anyway after that. I didn't hear from him, sure the occasional phone calls popped up but that was strictly business related. It started to occur to me that probably I need to let go, he defiantly wasn't interested in me anymore and trying to make something spark between us was more difficult than anything.

But I just couldn't bring myself to let go. As much as I tried I just couldn't. My heart wouldn't let me. Whenever I thought about him I got a fiery feeling in the pit of my stomach, the fire burned intensively. I knew what this irritated smouldering feeling was and were it started, it was lit the moment his lips touched mine for the very first time and has been blazing in me ever since. Who was I trying to kid here, I strongly felt the same way about him still and that's why I can't let go.

To let go of what we had.

**- Many weeks later-**

I went back to my investigation, shoving all matters of Near to the back of my mind.

I was trailing Amane's car, suspecting her of being an associate with Kira. I knew I was getting close to catching the bastard.

But somehow they gave me the slip. I must have taken a wrong turn. I sat there on my bike, thinking of what I should do now. I felt a sudden vibration in my jacket pocket; I reached in to pull out my phone. I held it to my ear expecting to hear Matt's voice.

''yeah?''

''Asana Imperial .suite 13. now''

As soon as those coordinates finished the phone line went dead. I looked at my phone screen no return number came up or even a name. Confusion filled me and frustration dwell as I put the phone back into my pocket.

The Asana imperial was a big 5 star fancy hotel, only the raving rich could book a room there and it wasn't easy to get a booking either. It was said to be one of the best and most spectacular hotels in the whole of this region.

Why did that caller want me to go there for? , perhaps it was Matt prank calling me...but that voice, it couldn't been Matt's. The voice was much more, smoother I'd heard it before somewhere but just couldn't put my finger on it...

I sat there, pondering on what I should do. I already lost the people I was trailing and I actually didn't feel like heading back right away. I was also curious. So I decided go.

I asked at the reception deck about a suite 13.

''I'll check sir, please wait a moment '' the chick behind the desk said typing away at the hotel computer. I waited patiently, casting a gaze around the place. This place was fancy. Real fancy. It made me look like cheap blow in trash.

'' sir, may I ask- would your name be Mello by any chance?'' she asked.

I nodded, narrowing my eyes with suspicion.

''oh. Then you'll be needing this'' she gave me a key card. I looked blandly at it. '' Mr. River has been expecting you'' she finish returning back to the computer.

_Mr. River?-What the fuck-who the hell?...he sounds like a total creep, a totally rich creep by the looks of things and with a name like River, he's probably is old too. _I thought as I pushed the button on the elevator.

I got off at the level the suite was in.

_So this guy's name is River huh, _I thought. _How the fuck did 'River' get my number?- fuck I hope Matt hasn't been giving my number out to strangers again...he's been trying to hook me up with everybody lately._

I used my key card and let myself in.

The room was fucking huge. So modern and up to date, the large glass windows looked out over the bubbling city below, I spotted a large platter of chocolate goods lying unguarded on a side table, nice expensive chocolate too; the kind that's imported from Switzerland. If there was one time in my entire life where I felt so penny less this would be it.

The white rug glowed against the black slate. The dimmed lights set a mood in the air and the king sized bed had an abundance of pillows pilled on it. This whole atmosphere was...not right.

I sat on the edge of the bed, tossing my jacket off and helping myself to a bar that was kindly supplied, hastily unwrapping the glossy covering, then placing it to my lips, taking a bite.

_Mhmmm...good Switz chocolate,_ I though savouring the taste in my mouth.

There was a loud cough. I immediately took my gaze and thoughts up, parting the bar from my mouth. My jaw hung open and my eyes widened at the sight.

The sight of him.

_Near..._


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter nine**

He stood there in nothing but a satin white robe; obviously it was 3 sizes too big for him but still. His left shoulder bare as the material had accidently slipped. His skin glowed like porcelain and eyes flickered a light shade of grey. His distinct collar bone so alluring, his lips so kissably supple. I must have died and gone to heaven cos' he was certainly an angel.

I secretly was undressing him with my eyes but I didn't need to do that. He let the sash go and it just fell off like running water, sliding down his pearly sweet curves. The thin material pooled around him on the floor.

My heart flapped fiercely, blood ran hot through my veins. An overwhelming heat washed over my body. I gulped deeply as my eyes slid down over his body. His ivory chest called and his milky skin temped.

He began to approach me. His eyes dead straight.

Damn he's grown.

And I wasn't only mentioning his appearance. There was something different about him, he wasn't the same quiet and docile boy I left behind at Wammys, he seemed confident and...sexy.

I tried to say something along the lines of 'sorry' but I just couldn't muster up a single syllable. I gazed at him, enderingly. A smile work on my face, I was just so happy. All my doubt and all my grief had been proven wrong, for once I was glad to be wrong...everything was become clear.

Then all of a sudden...

**SMACK!**

He violently smacked my cheek. It glowed red as a faint outline of a hand appeared. I didn't know what had just happened here. On minute he was calm and super sexy then the next thing I know **BANG**! - He slaps me.

''How dare you.'' he hissed distastefully '' how dare you make me hurt so bad''

I looked straight at him, confused and dizzy. Sure, I wasn't all that glad in being assaulted like that by him but there...under his thick bangs I saw the resemblance of tears swelling up slowly in his eyes.

''I...I thought you were dead'' He whimpered trying to fight his tears back.

_Oh Near... who'd have thought that you were so fragile...still._

**A/N: I know- Near's naked and he slaps WTF +=+ plus I made him just a little emotional but come on...who wouldn't be, right? poor, poor Neari bear.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I took him in my arms and, like on queue he collapsed into my chest lightly sobbing.

''I'm sorry'' I said running my finger tips through his curls '' I really am''

He pulled his face out of my vest, eyes were wet and face fluster as hell. He studied my facial expression, tying to determined if I was telling the truth or not. Obviously i was, i wouldn't dream of lying to him. Near was someone I couldn't lie to. I could lie to anyone in the world but not to him...Never.

''sorry's not good enough'' he huffed in a husky voice, the kind that is heard right after a cry, all shallow and broken like.

I froze. Literally froze stiff as the words registered in my brain. I felt him place a hand over my cheek as his other played with the ends of my hair flirtatiously. He peered into my eyes as if he was trying to look for something unknown.

''show me''

''show me how sorry you are'' Near's words were plain, but to the point.

I was astounded by this, the bluntness of the order; it made me think for a second 'who is this?' This wasn't Near, this wasn't the Near I know, but then again it is. Impostor?

He slid his hands down to my shoulders, unnoticeably pushing my paralysed body against the soft pillows before mounting himself in my lap, I was so tame when it was just the two of us, well if you can call being paralysed tame. It occurred to me that it only took two words to make me like this, to turn me so weak and vulnerable.

My cheeks felt like they were on fire and my heart sounded like a drum ready to break.

_Damn. It was true. He was still the only one that could do this to me. Only one._

Near hovered his lips over mine where I immediately responded, instinctively even. I jerked forward trying to snatch a longing kiss to his supple lips but having realised at the last minute that the only thing I was locking lips with was plain air. Near had mischievously pulled back out and tempting me with another, approaching his lips close to mine as I hungrily tried to nip another from him but again pulling away ever so cleverly at the last moment.

This was cruel, very cruel. Was this my punishment, being teased like this? How deliciously cruel of you Near to do such a thing to me. I would have never thought that you could be so mean.

The sounds of skin peeling away from sticky leather ringed in my ear. He continued touch my skin with such familiarity unknowingly sending cold shivers up my spine. Near pressed his lips to my neck slowly licking at the rough flesh, as his hands explored all over my body. Such slow motion, it's like he want me to go crack.

_To break under such circumstances._

I slithered my hands around his slender figure pulling him closer to me. The moment I touched his skin I felt the warmth and softness; it was like he was new, never been touched before, not even by me. The feeling of innocence, pure...and it's all mine.

He immediately pulled his lip from my neck, to the shell of my ear. I found myself holding my breath, hearing him whisper my name lustfully.

''show me'' Near hushed, nibbling tediously at the lobe earning a quiet, almost mute moan from me.

It was becoming more difficult to hide how turned on I was becoming. Can't believe just two innocent words could do this to me, to send me into such a hot bothered state. He has me wrapped around his finger; I'm prepared to do anything for him.

Near played with my lobe between his lips as his hands freely roamed. He took his index finger and with his nail dragged it around one of my nipple, gently scraping the pink skin. My mouth watered as an awe of feelings filled me, fluctuating between complete ecstasy and humiliation.

Near continued to tease me, nibbling and bitting at the now tender flesh of my ear. I bit my bottom lip fighting back a moan, but how long could I fight it?

''Mello...'' he purred. I quivered at the sound only managing to look at him from out the corner of my eye. He stared at me from under his thick bangs; his dimmed grey eyes analysing me. So deep, empty and mysterious...

Silence fell. I stared as time seemed to freeze. God I was so taken by his gaze I hadn't notice him drag a hand from its position down my torso. Resting just above the waistband of my pants. But by the time I had taken note, it was too late. He had already made an attempt to undo the lace but only could manage to get the it half way undone. But really that was all he needed.

My mind went blank, well it had been roughly blank at the very start but this was different; it was as if I was experiencing a short case of amnesia. The only thing I knew that told me I was still alive was the sound of my thumping heart.

I watched owl eyed as a smile slowly appeared on his face and without a word he slowly slithered his hand over my waistband, touching me directly. I shivered and whimpered like a small child. How humiliating.

Feeling his hand grab around me, assessing carefully. I gulped shallowly feeling him pulling and caressed his hand gently down me, tightening his grip as he got closer to the tip.

Deliberately panting and moaning into my ear, his hot breath connecting against my skin. My hips slowly began to thrust into his hand as Near's playful moans became more frequent and laboured. His hand was pinned up against the leather continuing to watch hungrily me as I thrusting steadily into his hand,. It was just a matter of time for his hand became wet.

Near leaned into my face, brushing his lips lightly against the shell of my ear, dipping his tongue into it momentarily before whispering.

''play with me''

I just broke.

It was like a rush. A sudden burst of adrenalin. I pounced into action as feeling quickly returned to me. I threw him down on the bed and began kissing him rapidly not giving any chance for air.

I flickered my tongue over his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He complied, opening his mouth and allowing my slippery appendage to slither in and explore. We kissed like there was no tomorrow. We had to break apart for air; damn air- always has to ruin everything!

My breath were just hot pants as I tried to get air into my lungs but it was too late, I didn't care about air right now the only thing that was racing through my mind was Near. I quickly lowered my mouth to his pale neck, jolting my tongue back and forth against his velvet skin. He pulled at the string that was holding up my pants, clawing vigorously to get them off me.

It was torturer having to wait for him; I didn't want to wait for him this time. Once he had stripped me of them and they were hanging around my knees, I was throbbing.

There was no time for toying or preparing, none of this fondling and caressing shit. Its big boys business now; plus Near's old enough to handle it. Right? Either way I'm tired of waiting!

I snatched his soft hips, pinching them between my hands; I was hurting. I need to be in him quick and without warning I plunged myself in. He gasped than moaned at the familiar hard feeling passing through such a tight entrance. I pushed him against my hips, rolling to fit myself in. I felt the muscles around me tense and tighten as I adventure further; the feeling was wonderful, such firmness made me arch my back. Moans spilled from his lips before I had even started moving but when I did started I didn't go easy.

Pinching his hips I rolled rapidly to find his spot. He groaned and yelped with every thrust and turn. All this emotion I was deriving from him only encouraged me to dig deeper. I bent him over against the sheet, his thighs barely touching his chest. Near arched into the covers feeling the pain from my erection.

Near grabbed my neck placing his lips over mine and kissing me with passion, most probably to stop him from moaning out but I didn't mind. But not even my lips could hide them all.

Sweat began to show on the back of my legs as we embraced. The slightest sound from him made me shudder with pleasure. I'd waited 5 years to fuck him so by right I'm going to fuck him good.

''God ARhhh Mello!'' he yelled parting our sore lips, I quickly licked up them and brought him back into my mouth, stocking my tongue at the back of his. My body moving in and out of his tight entrance, no doubt it hurt, the way I was thrusting it wouldn't surprise me if I tore something.

But this pain was his fault, since how hard he got me at the start. We could have gone slowly but, he wanted it like this. Hard and painful. Which was exactly how he's getting it?

We pulled away, lips wet and bruised. Bodies moving in perfect unison. Grinding hard against the bed sheets. Our eyes were fixated on each other; it was like watching a movie in each other's eyes, a painful, yet pleasuring experience.

The feeling of my muscles tensing as my hips pressed heavily against his small body. My hunger to feel whole seemed to overpower my brain. I feel him arch more into the bed than normal whilst I rolled harder into him, trying to be in every inch of him as I possibly can.

''Aurgh Mello!'' Near cried out in a throaty groan digging his finger nails into the back of my neck. I listened intently amused as he bit down on his bottom lip trying to fight them back, but tragically failing.

I was so close now, practically about to burst. I arched my back into him, ready. And with one final twist I came. It was like a wave of relief washing over my body. I took to his mouth, kissing him as I explored with my tongue. The pain gradually dulled as my thrusts became more controlled. There was still pain present with him, even when it went away there was a look of discomfort. Now I'm regretting it.

I seem to never think, just do. Even though it pains me to say that, this could have been prevented. I withdrew myself from him, not wanting to cause any further discomfort. Near cringed as I left him, still gripping my shoulders. Once I was out my body suddenly become weak, collapsing down against his. The bed wasn't a bed anymore; it looked more like a sea of ruffles. The white sheets pooled around our naked bodies and the distinct small of sweat wavered untastefully in the air.

''I'm sorry...for the pain'' I whispered in a ragged voice, nuzzling my nose into his.

''It's alright, I'd gotten used to it...'' Near sighed, relaxing into the sheets, lovingly nuzzling back.

''I probably tore something'' I smiled half-heartedly pulling away to look at him endearingly, it's not proud of it or anything, it's just kind of ironic to hear that from him. perhaps it was his tone of voice or something.

''hope you did''

''wah?'' I jerked my head one side, peering at him with a brow raised. What does he mean by '_hope you did_?' He couldn't possibly enjoy feeling it. Or maybe he does? I pondered as he lied beneath me, stroking and playing with my hair.

''It's better to feel something than to feel nothing''

_He talks about himself as if he was dead. _I thought with a heavy heart. _He's not completely cold. He's not cold at all...quite the opposite._

''Near, stop say stupid things'' I silenced him with a kiss, a little saddened by his cold remark**. **Near wrapped his arms around my neck pulling me further into his face. I worked tirelessly around the sensitive bit of his gums before prying my tongue from his mouth. Receiving whimpers form him Near as he tried to grab my lips back to his.

But unlike Near, I allowed him to snatch another from me. I slid my hands to his waist letting his tiny tongue o wriggle into my mouth. We kissed madly till we were breathless, hearts pounding and lips sore My arms around him and his around me, not a thought or care in the world. Nothing matters.

two missing puzzle piece, complete.

This. This was how it was meant to be. How it should be.

This is how us, we should be...

**To be continued...**


End file.
